A Better Way of Working Blog

Thoughts and ideas about transforming the way the world works

The Secret to Dealing With Difficult People: It's About You
Emotional Needs, Triggers, Value | 10 COMMENTS | October 12, 2011
Do you have someone at work who consistently triggers you? Doesn't listen? Takes credit for work you've done? Wastes your time with trivial issues? Acts like a know-it-all? Can only talk about himself? Constantly criticizes? Our core emotional need is to feel valued and valuable. When we don't, it's deeply unsettling, a challenge to our sense of equilibrium, security, and well-being. At the most primal level, it can feel like a threat to our very survival.
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Tony Schwartz
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The Only Thing That Really Matters
Emotional Needs, Value | COMMENTS | June 1, 2011
Think for a moment of the last time you felt triggered — pushed into negative emotions by someone or something. Here, for example, are several of my triggers: feeling taken advantage of, not getting a response to an email I've sent to someone, and not being acknowledged for good work I've done.
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Tony Schwartz
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How Are You Feeling?
Emotional Needs, Value | 1 COMMENTS | February 22, 2011
Last week, my company, The Energy Project, held an offsite for our employees. On the second day, we brought in two outside facilitators to help us focus on how we work together. The facilitators had been trained in something called the "Sanctuary Model." It was created by a psychiatrist named Sandra Bloom to help organizations — most of them in the mental health field — build communities grounded in communicating openly and honestly, listening deeply to one another and taking truly shared responsibility for conflict resolution and problem solving.
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Tony Schwartz
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The Energy Coach: Theo: Our Core Emotional Need
Emotional Needs, Value | 2 COMMENTS | November 16, 2010
Our core emotional need is to feel secure and valued. Events that threaten this security seem intolerable, so much so that we become preoccupied, squandering our energy trying to restore our sense of value. It is as if we are drowning, desperately trying to get our head above water. It has been life-changing for me to consider the notion that holding people’s value is at the heart of every interaction. I recently had a profound experience with my eleven-year-old son that reinforced for me how powerful this phenomenon is in our lives.
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Annie Perrin
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